Bedtime Routines
Bedtime with little ones is usually terrible. Once they get old enough to realize that there’s more going on after they go to bed, it becomes a constant battle to get them to stay in bed. Every single night, you dread what’s coming. You need the rest, but the kids are fighting you every step of the way!
I’ve been there. I fought those battles, night after night. But there’s a better way, and it’s so easy! In this post, I’ll share my bedtime routine that I used with my kids to make it so they went to bed on time and without arguing at all. It works every single night.
Child Refuses To Go To Bed
Children resist bedtime like their life depends on it. They all do it. It’s a constant battle for parents and kids alike. I hear so many stories from parents complaining that their child refuses to go to bed. Things often end in tears.
Refusing to go to bed almost seems like a rite of passage for most families. And when there’s more than one kid, it makes things even worse. You threaten, they cry. You yell, they cry. The cycle continues night after night with no end in sight.
Preschool and Toddler Bedtime Routine
There’s a secret formula to make all this better. It’s not even all that secret! When I learned about other parents trying this method, I thought it was crazy. I thought parents must be out of their minds to try this. It could never work!
Then, I tried it and within 3 days, my life had changed for the better. Everyone in the family felt better and the nightly bedtime tantrums had stopped completely. I’m not kidding.
So here’s what you do. Stay with me here, it works. I promise.
Let your children choose when to go to bed.
Now, it’s not quite that straight forward. You don’t actually let them choose whatever time they want and they won’t be staying up until midnight. I wanted my kids to go to bed at 8:00. That was my goal. So let’s just assume that’s your goal too.
Quiet Time
Instead of having your kids go in their room at 8:00 to go to bed, you have them brush teeth at 7:00. Then, it’s time for them to play. Let your child know that it’s time for them to play on their own (or with a sibling they share a room with) until they want to go to bed. They can play with Legos, build with blocks, work on a puzzle…whatever they want to do in their room.
Make it clear that these activities will take place in their room and you will not be in there with them. Then, (and this is the important part) let them know that when they come out, you’ll know they’re ready for bed. So, they can still show you what they made and you can be excited for them, but they need to wait to show you until they are ready for bed.
At first, you need to be very strict with this rule. It will only take a day or two of you sticking to the rule for them to take you seriously. After that, it’s smooth sailing.
Bedtime
Once your little one comes out to show you something, you can let them know that since they came out, you know they’re ready for bed and you will be tucking them in. Then, you get to see all the creative things they’ve been up to before tucking them in.
This method does many good things for both you and your children.
First, it gives you more time for you. By having your child go in their room and hour before the normal bedtime, you gain an hour of “me-time” every single day. That’s huge!
Second, this gives your child a sense of accomplishment. You won’t be in their room to help them solve their problems. Obviously, you’ll go to their aid if they need your help for safety reasons, but you won’t be there to help balance the blocks or remove the Lego piece they added accidentally. When they figure out how to accomplish these tasks on their own, their confidence and self-esteem will get a huge boost.
Third, your children will learn to deal with delayed gratification. Our world is full of instant satisfaction and practicing waiting is a valuable skill to have. Learning to wait will server them well throughout the rest of their lives.
Finally, your children will feel as though they are in control. The hour of quiet time before bed will make them much more tired than staying up with you for that hour. When they decide they want to go to bed (at 8:00, like you wanted anyway) it was their decision, so there’s no fighting.
Sound Asleep at Bedtime
I never found a down side to this bedtime routine. After time, I was able to relax a little on when my kids could come show me something. Sometimes, depending on what it was, I would let them come out to show me something they were really proud of. Most of the time, however, they needed to wait.
While I wanted my kids to go to be at 8:00, by letting them choose when they were ready, they often times were in bed and sound asleep long before I would have made them go to bed anyway. They got more sleep and the adults got even more much-needed time to relax and have a little quiet time of our own.